LEO: You’ll soon snooker a plumb
VIRGO: Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat
LIBRA: Shit or get off the pot
SCORPIO: You’ve been promoted to the rank of Love Rustler
SAGITARIUS: You’re more than a meat Popsicle to me.
CAPRICORN: Someone is going to merge into your merging lane
AQUARIUS: Your stools will soon be impressive.
PISCES: You’re always in one place and thinking about another
ARIES: You’re not here to fuck spiders
TAURUS: They were all out of red ones, so I got you a blue one
GEMINI: You will soon be contrary to popular belief
CANCER: You are obscured by clouds